Life is strange
- Katya Gasenko
- Dec 19, 2016
- 2 min read
Life is strange.
Each day a lot of lifes begin and many end. One comes with happiness, another with sadness, but sometimes both are irrelevant. Actually, they are irrelevant to everyone but those involved, for others there’s just another day, good or bad, rainy or sunny, full of joy or painful. People are used to live in society, but they are not really connected by anything but primal instincts and needs. We are taught to congratulate or pay our condolences, but mostly we don’t exactly feel what we say. We do what has to be done, serve our duty, being polite. Each time I see those situations or appear to be involved, I always have this dilemma and misunderstanding inside: why are we doing and saying something we don’t really mean, we don’t feel? Most of people have completely different emotions, than those shown to the public: pity, jealousy or nothing at all. On one hand being polite is so nice and I am glad when someone is well groomed, but when it comes to situations like those mentioned above I myself cannot find it necessary, even more, I see it as an intensional and taught way of lying.
Those thoughts bother me the most when it comes to death. Someone dies and suddenly every relative has to cry out their eyes. I remember my first funeral, I was in the fifth grade, came back from school and my grandmother told me, my uncle is no longer with us. I understood every word and I knew, I need to cry, because everyone does, when their relatives die. I was left alone, lying on a bed and trying hard to squeeze out a tear. I was sad and I loved my uncle, but it took a long time to make myself cry, so everyone didn’t think I’m dead inside. I cried during the funeral, but never learned to understand, why should I.
I remember thoughts in my head, that I still stand for: “Most of people, who came to bury him were never close, most came to eat and drink at the wake and they sit here and chat about all the stuff not connected to him. They payed their “duty” and after few drinks started having fun, laughing out loud… they already forgot.”
And there was his widow, his wife, who loved him very much and she was all alone in her pain. She was the one who lost her husband, the huge part of her life. Everyone else was to keep existing without changing much and for her that previous life was over. Doesn’t matter if she had a loving family, she lost her life and no condolences, no words, nothing could bring it back.
Everyone has a life of his own and all the pain or happiness we get, we feel alone. We build an illusion of being surrounded with friends and family, but in the end we are always by ourselves and all “our” people just come to pay their duty and then go live their own lifetimes. I don’t blame anyone, because that’s reality, that’s our nature and one of the biggest paradoxes of being gregarious animal.
